life, love, and birds
by TheSlayerGirl
Summary: maddie was always forgotton, she just wanted to leave the world behind. after an aptempt to kill herself she meets gilbert. who himself is hiding a secret from her. see what happens to the dear girl as her and the albino try to find a purpose for themselves. (Contains fem!canada, preg, hintinting as sex, and death) do not own hetalia
1. Chapter 1 why we hide

Paste your document her

She walked into her class room unnoticed, again. She was never the first one there not the last but even with the small crowd of people who entered with her none noticed she was there. They push and shove to make there way past her invisible figure, she doesn't let anyone see the years of being ran into was waring her down. She just keep a straight face and keep walking. Truth he told she was more mentally hurt than anything, the game god called Madeline's life was just hell. All the voices in her head, and the ones outside keep hurting her, she just wanted the pain to stop. She had no friends to tell, he parents rarely ever let her get a word it, it was growing old having the courage to tell them but they just ignore her as if she where a ghost. Her brothers girlfriends mocked her when they thought she was gone. The truth was she was alway there it's not like she had anywhere else to be. "Who the hell is that?" 'No one you should bother with.' She'd think. "Is she retarded? I've never heard her talk?" 'What's the point my voice is never heard anyway?' All the small jabs added on to her everyday life hurt to much. She looked down at her arm and sighed. "It's been going on to long, it doesn't help anymore..." She mumbled as she locked herself in her room. "I'm tired of the scars, they are just reminders." She took the blade and ran it the whole length of her arm to rid it of the flawed skin. "T-that feels nice..." She whispered. She didn't cut to deep but her arm was leaking horribly from the lack of protection. "Lets just die today, no one will notice..." She closed her eyes and drifted off into sleep.

"G-god?" She asked as a bright light flooded her vision. "M-Mattie!" She heard a horse voice stutter out. 'I failed, I can't even kill myself right! God I'm such a fuck up, why can't I just die?' Her brother rapped his arms around her and cried. "We thought we lost you!" He chocked out as he held her tighter. "Well I'm still here..." She said as she held the bitterness in the back of her throat, not letting I leave with the rest of the words. "Why would you do this?" He asked with tears in his eyes. "Why do you care?" She mumbled as he released her. "B-because your my sister." He said with a stern voice. "That never stopped you before." His face paled. "That never stopped you from helping me, or coming to my rescue . It never stopped you from teasing me, it's just a useless title I was unfortunate enough to have." She pulled out the iv, stood up, clumsily and walk away. She needed to get away from him, from them all. Sometimes people where just painfully stupid to her. Her brother was one of them. She walked through the crowd of people unnoticed, just like before. Seems like nothing ever really changes. She made her way to the top of hospital and looked over the edge. "Will this kill me?" She whispered as she stood up on the ledge. "Only if you land on your head, I just broke my arm." A voice said. "Holy shit!" She yelped as she looked over. "Sorry I didn't see you..." She felt strange, those words where normally the other way around. "It's fine, you look a tad bit distracted anyway." He held out his unbroken hand to her. "W-what?" She said in a confused manner. "I'm saving you, no c'mer." She grabbed his pale hand and let him pull her down from the perch. "Gilbert." He said with a smile. "Madeline." She took her hand back and looked at the boy. 'He's pale, and has silver hair...' "Are you albino?" She asked as she seen his crimson eyes."the awesomeist albino in the world." He said. "Why would the awesomeist albino, try to kill himself?" She ponder out loud. "That's a secret ." He said as he patted her shoulder. "Why where you up here?" She asked as he guided her down the stairs. "It's nice to get away from them, all the people." She nodded her head in agreement. "Can I come with you? I mean I don't really wanna go back to my brother." She said with a slight blush. "Wont they notice your missing?" He asked. "Not really..." He nodded his head yes and grabbed her hand. "So, you going to the Looney bin anytime soon?" He asked. "The what?" Madeline said with shock in her voice. "A place they send you to "get better." As they say." He Gilbert said with disgust. "I-i don't know? I just woke up today." The albino looked over at her in shock. "And you try'ed to jump today?!" A blush spread across her face. "Yeah, I didn't want to mess up agin." She mumbled. "Here we are." Gil said as he held opens door for her. "Thanks." Gilbert sat down on his bed, crossed legged and patted the spot in front of him. "So tell me about yourself Maddie." The girl was quite for a moment until something came to mind. "I'm from canada, and I'm 16." She said with no real care. "What about you?" Madeline asked. "I'm Prussian, I was born on the east side of Germany and I am 17." He said confidently. "That's cool, anything else I should know?" "I am awesome!" Gilbert declared. "I think you pointed that out." He laughed at her comment. "Hey do you wanna see something?" He asked as he put his hand under his bed and slowly came back up with a bird on his hand. "OH IT'S SO CUTE!" She squealed as she looked at him. "What's his name?!" Madeline asked. "Gilbird, the second most awesome name in the world." He said with a smile. "He's adorable!" She whispered. "Ja, he's like the best bird ever." He flew up into her hair and laid there. "Your hairs almost the same color." The bird chirped as he fluttered his wings. "I'm gonna call you, birdie!" Gilbert stated proudly. "Bruder, stop talking to yourself." A tall blond said. "Stupid, luddy I'm talking to mien now friend." He said as he pointed at the girl. "Are you turning into, Arthur?" He asked as he looked at the blank spot in front of his brother. "She's right fucking here." Gilbert shouted as he shook the small girl. "O-oh I'm sorry I d-didn't see you there..." Ludwig mumbled. "It's alright...happens a lot." She whispered the last part. "No it's not, he completely ignored you!" He shouted. "I said I was sorry, bruder and she's fine with it so calm down." He said. "The softer what's to see you, so get going." The blond hissed. "Ja, whatever. See you later, birdie." Gilbert said as he got up and walk out. "Bye..." She took the little bird off her head and let him fly back to his hiding spot, before she herself left.

Hope you enjoyed the first chapter! PLZ

e...


	2. run from the obsticals

"Hello, matta where gonna need to run some test on you now." The doctor said as he entered the room. "Um it's, Maddie..." The blond whispered. "Oh...my apologies." She stood up and followed the man into a room where they would see if she was a "danger to herself" and decide if she went to a help center. "So we are just gonna ask you some questions to start." He said as she sat down. "Okay." Madeline whimpered. "How long have you wanted to die?" She thought for a moment until she said something. "I've never really wanted to be alive." He wrote some words down a proceeded with the questioning. "Do you think people care about you?" Her eyes flashed a bit of anger al they flicked towards him. "No, and why would they." She hissed. "Do you feel like you have self worth?" He asked. "No."

~time skip~

"Well what I see with, Maxine here is a severely depressed girl, I believe you should and her to a help center. She is dead set on getting herself killed and I can't see why." He said to the girls fathers. "It, Maddie not, Maxine." Francis corrected. "God why can't I get her name right?" He mumbled under his breath as he nodded to signal he agreed with the Frenchman. "So we are thinking about sending her to st. Jude's depression foundation for endangered teens. But we need you and your wife's consent." He told the blond. "Me and my husband will do anything to help our daughter get better." Francis said with sorrow in his voice. "Well come and sign the papers then, and will send her off right away." Francis nodded as he walks with the man. He hated all of this, he never suspected his dear little girl would do this to herself. But then again he wasn't watching her that closely. "Can you bring them to her room, I want to have a chat with her first?" Francis asked. "Sure thing."

~with our dear protagonist~

"hello papa…" she mumbled to the man. "Maddie dear we need to talk." He said in the most kind tone he could muster. "About wha-." She was cut off by the Frenchman. "Where going to send you away to get better." He left the room so he couldn't see the tears forming in his child's eyes. "So your just gong to forget about me again, it easy for you now." She mumbled as the tall man left the room. "Its what everyone's best at." She closed her eyes to stop more tears from escaping. She drifted off into a dreamless sleep as her parents desisted her near future.

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"Get back here Gilbird!" an albino shouted as he ran after the little creature, that just chirped in response. "I don't care how mean, Luddy was you can't fly away like that!" Gilbert shouted as if he understood the bird (which he so does). The yellow canary flew into a room and perched itself on a shelf. "You can't trespass, stupid. There could be some dying old man in here." He hissed as he entered the room. But he didn't find an old man, but the girl from before fast asleep on her bed. "Why the hell did you come in here?" the Prussian grumbled. "You are going to disturbed her!" he inwardly groaned as he tried to reach his feathered friend. Sadly he failed. "Why cant I be as tall as Ludwig?" he actually knew why but he didn't bother to think with reason. So he grabbed a stool and pulled it up to the counter to try and reach him. "Get…on…my…hand." Gilbert mumbled as he looked at his pet. He pecked his hand making him pull away. "Ow! That hurt you bastard!" he went to comfort himself but lost his balance. "Fuck, fuck, fuck , fuck, fuck!" he landed on top of Madeline, making her jolt awake, and scream. "I'm sooooo sorry!" he yelled as he tried to stand up. "GET AWAY FROM MY DAUGHTER YOU RAPEIST!" Arthur shouted as he entered the room. "Its not what it looks like…" Gilbert said as he tumbled to the ground. "Like hell it isn't!" Maddie rolled her eyes at her father as she stood up. "He just fell, dad, calm down." She whisper talked sense she's not really the loud type. "What the hell was he doing that made him fall on top of you?!" she shrugged her shoulders as she looked at the albino. "My birds stuck up there…" he said quietly as he pointed at, gilbird who watched the whole catastrophe. "Oh…I'm really sorry chap but could you please leave." Arthur demanded more than asked. "Um yeah, sorry…" he mumbled as his bird flew onto his shoulder. "Bye, birdie." He said loudly to irritate the Brit. "Bye, Gil." Maddie, said with a blush, she knew her dads face was most likely a deep shade of red. "Who the bloody hell was that!?" he asked as soon as Gilbert left his sight. "Just a guy, is there anything you want?" the blond asked, she really wanted him out of the room. "I just wanted to say goodbye, where sending you off in a shuttle soon. I wanted to see you before you left." She let the rage boil in her as she held back words. 'Why the hell would you want that. After all you never bother to see me any other time in my fucking life!' "Well good bye." Was all that came out. "Come say that to your brother, his in the game room waiting for you." You could see his face light up as he said his favorite's name. "o-okay." She muttered. 'You want me to go see that ass hole, why?!' she asked internally. She walked out of the room and stumbled down the hallway, she had no intentions of seeing him. Just walking. 'I feel like a ghost.' She thought as she passed people who never even gave her a first look. "Why couldn't I be him, everyone loves him…" she was sick of being herself, anyone else would do but she was stuck with her. She seen a tall blond boy with violet eyes drinking from a flask. "Um I don't think your suppose to do that…" she said, making the poor man jump. "I didn't see you there!" he said with a thick Russian accent. "Its okay, people usually don't." Maddie mumbled. "My name is, ivan whats yours?" he asked as he held out his hand. "Madeline, nice to meet you." Now that she got a better look at his face he could tell he was not much older than herself. "Why where you drinking?" She asked. "It was my last chance before they send me away." He said, sure enough when she looked down she seen bandages on his left arm. "Well see you around, I'm gonna go drink somewhere safer." He grumbled as he took another swig of vodka. 'Weird.'

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"Bye Madeline, I'll come visit you whenever I can." Her papa said as he started to cry. "Okay, I'm going to miss you..." she said to her only family member that went to see her off. "Ill miss you to, mon cheri." He kissed her cheek and watched as she walked onto a small bus. "Goodbye papa." She turned around and sat in a seat in the back. She was gonna miss them, but she knew it would be just the same without her. She looked and seen a few other people on the bus, a little red head who was shouting at a look alike, the Russian man from before, a short boy with blond hair and many more. "hey birdie ready to go?" an albino asked as he sat next to her. "I guess." The shuttle started and they drove off leaving sad family members behind.

(a/n) hey thank you guy so much! When I seen people actually read my story I rolled on my floor for twenty minutes screaming "someone liked it." So thank you all so much, this is my first fic so I was really happy about that. I would like to thank white demon for reviewing and say, I really appreciate it! Goodbye for now

Love, the slayer girl.


	3. Chapter 3

Mattie spent the whole time talking to Gilbert and playing wig his pet (in secret anyway). She enjoyed his company a lot, something about the albino made her feel comfortable, and normal. "So I walked in of luddy and his boyfriend, and the kid yelled 'HEY GIL!' My brother was trying so hard to hide himself and the little Italian. It was hilarious!" He snickered as he reminisced. "WHERE HERE!" The driver called, just like the call of the devil in hell. "Damn..." The albino mumbled. He stood up and left the little Canadian behind. "See ya later, birdie." She watched all the people flood off the bus but she just sat there with her head agents the window hoping the driver would not see her, and drive back. But luck was never really on her side. "Kid you have to go." The woman called. "Can't you just ride off a cliff?" She whispered as she stood up and walked away. "I hope you get better." She called as she closed the doors, leaving Maddie in shock. That lady might have been the first to say that to her...it mind fucked her. The blond made her way into the gated building where all the walls showed the dullness that was bound to invade there brains. "Like totally Looks beautiful hu?" A sarcastic voice rang. "Yup, it so doesn't look like a sheet of paper vomited it up..." She whispered back. "Names phillie." The polish girl said. "Madeline." (Yes it's Felix) she held out her hand but the short girl just hugged her. "Hand shakes are to professional." Phillie skipped off away from the shocked Canadian towards a group of boys. "What...?" Minus that the rest of her day went like normal, people didn't see her, making them walk on her when she fell because the keep pushing her down. After a fiasco with a Cuban boy she found the front office and got her room number. "You're in room 63 on the second floor, pills are on your table. So you better take them." The cold hearted man instructed as he handed her some papers. "Thanks..." She muttered almost sarcastically. She made her way up the stairs passing door after door until she found her room. 'Here we go...' She opened the door to see a frantic brunet running around there room. "Hello..." Maddie said as confident as possible. But the girl didn't notice her. 'Ow...' She walked into the room and grabbed her pills. "What's your name?" She asked...to get no response. She rolled her eyes at the girl, she already was invisible, but she was practically yelling. "Maple..." She sighed as she turned around. What she saw shocked her, on the side of the girls head was some bandage. "AHHH!" The Italian girl screamed as she finally seen Maddie. "Y-you scared me..." She said between pants. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..." She said shyly. "I'm sorry I can't hear you." She replied. "My names, lovina what's yours?" She asked as she handed the blond some paper. "Maddie...?" She said as she looked at at the paper. The small girl thought for a moment and finally said something. "No I didn't mean you where quite, the sound of the gun made me go deaf..." She whispered as the memory leaked into her brain. Madeline grabbed the paper and wrote something down for her. 'I'm so sorry, my names Maddie, if I may ask what happened?' The brunets face went dark as she looked at the paper. "My sisters bastard boyfriend kicked the gun, it grazed my head but the noise fucked me up..." Maddie herd her mumbled some incoherent words, but she thought she heard the word potato. All the Canadian could do in response was frown. "Anyway it there anything you needed to know?"Lovina asked. She shook her head no and went back to looking at her papers. 'great now I can live with someone who won't see or hear me…" she sighed at the thought, she was so sick of being invisible. Her first therapy appointment was later today and Madeline was less than thrilled, she just wanted curl up into a ball and hide from all the people here. She hated it already.

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"Hello everybody, and welcome to group therapy!"A brunet woman called out. She had soft green comforting eyes that made Maddie think of her father, sadly it didn't make her feel better. "Lets start with introductions. Everyone please state your name as I point to you okay?"A rushed Gilbert ran into the room and sat down next to his favorite Canadian. "Hey birdie." He whispered to her as the woman gave him a death stair. "Nice to see you again Gilly. . ." she hissed. He waved to the Hungarian with a cocky smile. "always good to see you ma'am." He said with a snicker. The Russian next to Maddie looked at Gilbert with disgust on his face. "lets start with you!" she said as she pointed at Phillie. "my names Phillie. . ." she ended her into, not quite sure if she did it right. Next was a blond boy with a scowl on his face. "Vash."after that he just went back to his sulking. "my names Lovina you bunch of bastards can call me. . . never mind just don't ." Lizzy covered her mouth and looked at everyone. "she's deaf so don't bug her, she somewhat traumatized."maddie grew irritated, she just bluntly told them to ignore her. She pointed at the Russian. "My name is Ivan, and you all will call me that da?" back where he lived the people called him names, because they where intimidated by his size so he wanted to make sure he was respected here. Everyone said yes or nodded but Lovi. "well you all know Gilbert from his wonderful introduction earlier." She mumbled. "um, you skipped birdie." He said as he pointed at her. "who. . . OH I'm sorry I didn't see you there!"the brunet mumbled. "how could you mot see her! Shes right there!?" he yelled. "I'm sorry it was a mistake." Maddie just nodded. "well say your name, I pray to god its not really birdie." She muttered the last part. "my names Madeline . . ." the blond whispered. "Now where gonna start with why where hear."she looked at the Italian, "You first." She said/signed.


	4. oj and pac-man

"Yeah this shit is stupid, so ill pass." Lovina hissed. "God dammit, we've been trough this! You need to talk about your problems." The Hungarian woman shouted. "This is bull shit, and I'm not going to "talk" about it." She mumbled as Elizabeta hit her head on a wall. "We. Need. To. Make. Progress!" She said between thuds. "Lizzy your gonna give yourself a concussion." Gilbert said as he try'ed to hold in his laughter. "How bout you tell us gilly?" She said with venom. "Not a chance in hell." He voice deadpanned. "You've been here two other times, I think number three is when you tell the truth." He rolled his red eyes and ignored her. "What about you, Ivan?" The therapist asked, hoping she'd finally get an answer. "Well my fathers abusive, my sister try's to have me screw her, I have no friends and if I did its because I scare them, and people like to fuck with me because they think I'm weak..." He keep a straight happy face the whole time. "Well...at least we got somewhere..." She mumbled. Elizabeta head snapped towards a noise. "Was that a peep?" She asked. "...no..." Gilbert said. "Did you bring that god damn bird again!?" The woman yelled. "I DIDN'T BRING HIM, HE CAME ALL BY HIMSELF!" He lied. "Give me the bird." She held out her hand, but the childish boy jut shook his head no, and held the canary tight. "I'm calling your dad over to come pick it up, you can't keep that here." The albino cringed at the thought of losing gilbird. "He's not leaving, so just deal with his awesomeness!" The bird pooped out of the white hair to stare at the woman before flying into Madeline's hair. "Can you hand me the bird?" Elizabeta asked. She mumbled some incoherent words and looked down. "Can you repeat yourself, meg?" Her face grew red in anger. "It's Maddie, and it's not my right to." Gil try'ed to hide his smile as the words left her mouth. "Dammit." She whispered. "I'm sorry." She walked over to her and snatched gilbird out of her hair. "Your all dismissed, Gil, Maggie please stay for a tad bit." Elizabeta hissed. "O-okay." She whispered as he just nodded his head. Everyone evacuated as there therapist shot daggers into the two before her. "Can you please show some respect." She yelled as she rubbed Gilbirds head to calm him down. "Sorry, I just want my bird." His face looked sad, almost to the point to where Maddie wanted to tackle him in a hug. "You can't keep him here, now get out I need to contact your father." He left the room with a scowl on face. "Hey are you okay?" She asked. "Nien, I really need him..." He said quietly, it was a first for him. "It ill be alright, if you want I can make you lunch?" Madeline suggested. "Sure..." He said in a small tone. "Follow me." She walked ahead of him. It was an awkward silence the whole way there (well for her anyway), she sighed a breath of relief as the door came into sight. "Well here we are." She whispered, as she opened the door. "Lovina, should be at the mess hall so it's just you and me..." He walks in and looked around for a bit as she rummaged through her bag. "HERE!" She called out as she pulled out a box of bisqick(how do you spell that?). "What's that?" He asked. "My emergency pancake mix." She turned to the kitchen area and grabbed a bowl. "Pancakes..." She turned quickly and looked at him. "Have you ever had them before?" She asked. "Of course I have, I'm not some kind of deprived freak. It's just whenever mien bruder makes them they turn out like shit." He laughed at her ridicules assumption. "Sorry, I'm kinda an idiot." She went back to cooking. "No your not, simple mistake." He started to walk around until he found the Canadians bed, which was a mess from the pancake search. "Cute." He mumbled as he looked at a pair of blue panties. "Hey why does your underwear have a poler bear on it?" He asked. Her face grew red as she ran into the room and launched herself to her bed. She grabbed the sheet and rolled into a burrito as she landed on the other side of the mattress. "Don't look at that." She whispered "Sorry." He lied. She slid out of the glob of sheets and placed them on her bed. "So why do you need gilbird so much?" Madeline asked.

Flashback time!  
I keep running, and running, but no matter what I did it was not far behind. I fell, just like every time I fell, the black earth spread over my body like shadows leaving me trapped. "You know I'm gonna catch you, each time." He kicked me in the stomach, to turn me over. "Please stop!" I knew what was coming next. The black stuff still held me so all I could do is yell. "Your going to die." He placed his sward up against my chest and slowly slid it down. I could see my blood flood onto my pale skin. "STOP!" I shout at the top of my lungs with no prevail, he just keep slicing away. He pulled it over the other one making a cross on my body. "Stop! It hurts!" I yelled, but by now he was jut needlessly slashing at my abdomen. Each new slit hurt like hell. After that he looked at my new form and smiled. "Don't leave your heart exposed." He plunged it into my chest causing large amounts of blood to gush out. "I-it's over." I cough out some red before I just stop moving over all.  
I wake up in a cold sweat in my room all alone. I look down at my stomach to see it is still whole. "F-fuck."  
I can see the lights on in the hallway so I follow it, hoping to see father or Luddy. I pass his office, he had his iPod in, I can hear it so he was trying to drowned me out. I walk away, towards my brothers side of the house. By the time I get to his door I could see his radio with a pair of head phones in it. "If you can hear me why don't you wake me up?" It trudge my way back to the hell hole I call my room. Inside is just a bed, and a bird cage. My little chick is inside, he so cute. I woke him up to didn't I? After opening the door I lay down in my bed and close my eyes. I can feel his his little feet in my hair. "What are you doing, Gilbird?" I ask. He just chirps and nuzzles closer. That Ike I did not dream

"No reason, in particular." She sets a plate of pancakes in front or him an smiles shyly. "Well I hope here better than your dads." He nods as he pours syrup on them. "So, Maddie why are you here?" Her face went to shocked to dead. "You tell me first." He took a bite of his pancakes to avoid the question but his eyes grew wide. "These are the best fucking pancakes I've ever had." The German yelled. "T-thanks." The blond whispered. He scarfed down the food making Maddie cringe. "That was disgusting..." He just laughed at her. "No it was awesome." He said as he started to drink some orange juice. "WHAT THE HELL IS HE DOING HERE!?" A angry Italian girl yelled. "HOLY SHIT!" The noise shocked them, making Gil spill his drink on his shirt. "Fuck." He mumbled. I invited him over for lunch. She hands the note to the girl. "Oh, okay..." The brunet left for her room. "I'm sorry ab- what happen?" She asked as a orange blob came into view. "Spilled my juice." Gilbert said. "Well of you want you can borrow one of my shirts?" She offered. "O-okay..." He watched her walk off. He took of his shirt and rinsed it under some water to help get it clean. "Here you g-" she was cut off by a blush that infected her face. "Ja, I'm awesome." He grabbed the shirt from her and slipped it on. "Danke." He looked down at his new found pac-man shirt and smiled. "I should get going, I have to meet a therapist soon." Gil lied. "Oh okay, see ya later." She said as she covered her mouth with her hands. After the albino left she rushed to the bathroom to get some toilet paper for her nose. "Holy shit."

He walked down the hall and smiled. "This shirt smells like birdie." After a long walk he was at his room, which he had just to himself, he had a roommate the first time he was there but they couldn't handle the screaming so he got his own room. He laid down on his bed to sleep, cus he is aloud to be lazy. He passed out as soon as his head hit the pillow hoping that his mode would be blank that night. And it was.

I hope you all liked the chapter! Does anyone know Why Gilbert had those dreams? If u do you can guess in the reviews or pm me! On a sadder note, I got stung in the ear by a wasp DX if you don't review ill sent some after you, and it hurts like a bitch!


	5. Chapter 5

Sorry for being so late!

"WAKE UP!" Some one yelled from outside Gilbert's door.

"O-one sec." He mumbled, he was use to having a twelve o'clock wake up call. It happened every day. The albino opened the door for the woman who handed her some pills.

"Take the red one first, then after that the order doesn't matter." She informed him. He hated this routine, but he knew it would never change.

"Thanks, Marcy and have a good night." He closed the door as the woman walked away. He made his way over to his sink and grabbed a glass of water.

"What if I stopped talking them?" He dropped them down the drain and closed his eyes. "What's the point?"

He went back into his bed and held the green shirt close, it made him feel safe, and sane. After a bit he fell asleep and dreamed of nothing.

~time skip!~  
Maddie walked down the hall trying not to pick at her leg, last night she had found a loose screw in her door, she cleaned it before she started so it wouldn't get infected. It felt nice to release some of her useless blood.

"Hey birdie." She heard, she turned to see an certain albino running toward her. The sigh of him made her grin, for some reason he made her happy.

"Hey, gil." The blond whispered. She hoped he didn't have x-ray vision, she would hate for him to find out what she had done.

"What are you getting for breakfast?" The German asked as he stood by her side.

She thought for a moment until she just shrugged her shoulders. "Well I was hoping you could sit with me or something..." He mumbled, trying his best to sound confident but maddie made him nervous.

"I would like that." The Canadian said with confidence. Her mind races to reasons why he would like to hang out wither her, usually no one does.

"Alright, I'm gonna go get some sausage first." He declared as he ran to the breakfast line. She just sat there and looked around. She felt as if someone was watching her.

"I'm just being paranoid." Madeline concluded. After a while Gilbert came back with a weird look on his face.

"When did Ivan get here?" He asked. The girl turned to her side and seen the Russian sitting next to her. She try'ed not to jump in surprise, which slightly failed.

"I'm here to sit by, comrade Maddie." He informed the albino who was more focussed on the look she had on her face.

"Okay, well I brought you a pancake in case you where hungry." Gilbert said to her as he sat down.

Ivan looked over at the German and made an evil face before turning back to Maddie. "Thanks, Gil that was nice of you." A small blush came on his face because of the compliment, him being so pale it was vary visible.

"Cute..." She mumbled as she looked at the flustered boy. He try'ed to hide his face by turning away but the smile didn't leave hers.

"Am not." He hissed at Maddie his blush grew darker at the words. She just keep smiling. Ivan on the other hand was sitting there with an irritated look on his face.

"So, Madeline how was your first day?" The blond asked, so he could change the subject. He vary much wanted her attention.

"F-fine, but lovina keep yelling at me last night...she kept calling am a bastard..." This puzzled her, she didn't know how much the girl loved that word.

"Hey gilly!" The polish girl yelled as she walked towards the group. Marries eyes went big once she saw the girl...eh.

"Sup Phil?" He asked. She sat down on top of Maddie and smiled at the Russian.

"I'm just really bored, and toris don't wanna hang out today." She frowned. The girl was currently wearing boys clothes and her extensions out, so it was short. And her chest bandages down.

The Canadian try'ed to move but failed. "P-phillie can y-you please g-get off?" She asked, it startled her into falling onto the floor.

"Holy shit girl, didn't see you there!" The blond yelled as she moved to a different spot. She just nodded her head in forgiveness.

"How could you not notice birdie?" He asked the current him. Shim shrugged as she stared to eat her food.

"W-why are you dressed l-like a boy?" She mumbled, her head shot up like a rocket. Her eyes filled with anger soon softened.

"I never told you did I?" She asked herself. "I'm part transgender, some days I wanna be a boy, somedays I wanna be a girl..." Phillie explained.

"Oh,...who's, Tori's?" Maddie asked another question, the girl smiled at the name.

"He's my part time boyfriend...he doesn't talk to me when I'm a boy..." The polish girls face darkened, she hated that part of being her. Every person she meant judged her for that, most people desisted that she deserved to be bullied for this. She was forced to change in a stall by girls that would push her in to them. When she dressed as a boy the guys would beat on her until she was covered in blood. Yup life sucked, and that is why she was here.

"Well why wouldn't he want to be with you when you where a boy, if he loved you?" Madeline asked in a soft voice.

"What could some invisible little shit know about love!?" She hissed. The polish girl ran off in any which way she could, to get away from the question.

"H-he's the only one who would accept some one like me..." Phillis whispered.

"S-sorry..." She mumbled to no one, tears streamed down her face. All she did was point out the obvious and got insulted. She didn't know what the girl had been though but she knew that was unnecessary. It was true tho, she had never felt love.

"B-birdie, are you okay?" Gilbert asked but she just ignored him.

"Come with me Maddie." Ivan asked.

I took my sisters iPad the other day and typed in America, so I could find this video I live, in the history was America and England doujinshi! My innocent little sister fooled me! And the worst part is t that she's a usuk's fan! FRUK FOR LIFE! TT-TT

Anyway, maige I hope you liked the format. But plz don't criticize my about the way I write, is just how I do it.

I do not own hetalia.


	6. Lovina

"W-what, why?" Madeline asked, as she try'ed to calm down. "Well I would like to talk to you without, comrade Gilbert." The Russian said.

"O-oh, well okay..." She said. He smiled childishly as he started to walk into the halls all Maddie slowly followed. "What couldn't you tell me in front of him?"

He looked down at her and frowned. "He's a freak, stay away from him. He has major problems." The sentence came from a man who try'ed to kill himself two times. "W-what? He seems normal to me." Maddie retorted.

"This is not the first recovery center he's been to, he always gets let out but eventually back in, stay away from him." The Russian warned, but she refused to listen.

"I-I'm not going to do that..." She whispered. She avoided Ivan's gaze as he warned her with his eyes. "You should listen to me comrade, he's insane." The large man walked away from Maddie, leaving her in shock.

"H-how's he Insane..." She ponder, as she walks back towards the albino. The girl sat herself down and stared at him. "Hey can I have my shirt back?" The blond asked. "Oh, yeah! Come with me." he said with a trace of sadness in his voice. She followed his to his room, at the end of the boys hall. When she entered the girl was surprised to see one bed.

"Where's your roommate?" She asked. He closed his eyes for a moment and smiled. "I-I don't have one." He said trying to sound happy about it. "Oh, okay!" The albino handed Maddie her shirt and frowned. "T-thanks." He mumbled as the blond smiled at him. "No problems!"

She left the German behind as she made her way back to her and lovinas room. She entered the room to see the girl yelling at two people. One looked like her, the other was and older man. "GET THE FUCK OUT, YOU BASTARDS!" In dramatic movements she seen lovi's ear, for the first time. It was all cut up and weird. "But, sorella we just want to see you!" The small Italian called. "Get out you stupid, angelo egoista!" Her sisters face looked sad, as what Maddie presumed was her dad looked as if he wanted to throw her out a window.

"Fine, monello well leave! C'mon feli." The older mad guided her out of the room. "Bastards..." She mumbled as the brunet sat down. "You o-okay, lovina?" The Canadian asked. "HOLY SHIT!" She screamed as she fell off her bed. "S-sorry..." Madeline mumbled. "It's, fine." She climbed back up and looked Maddie in the eyes, to her surprise there where tears. She sat down next to the Italian and hugged her awkwardly.

"What happened?" She asked, hoping she didn't go to far. The brunet just looks dat her funny. Maddie mentally face palmed, she couldn't read her lips from the side. She grabbed a pen and paper to ask again. "Oh, w-well that stupid angelo and papa came over." She hissed. 'What does that mean?' She wrote. "Angel..." Lovina frowned at the word. 'Why do you call her that?' The Italian rolled her eyes at the question. "It's what papa calls her..." The blond was confused but desisted not to talk about her family anymore.

She pulled the brown hair behind the girls ear and looked closely. 'What happened to your ear?' She asked.

Flashback  
Two small girl well there mother drove them to school. "Stop fighting!" He woman called as she turned around to see the oldest pulling on her figlie hair. "Lovina!" She yelled, at that moment another car crashed into the side of there's, glass when flying everywhere, they started to flip over when the oldest seem her mothers face, coated in shards of now red. As somthing poked her ear she seen her sister hit her head. After they stopped, she looked down to see red running down her side. Her sister read limp.

"sorella, mama...?" She asked, she heard emergency vehicles coming from her right and light flashing. A man pulled her out of the car along with her sister, as another worked on there mom. "Your gonna be okay!" The man said to sooth the clueless girl.

At the hospital they took pieces of glass out of the side of her head. It punctured and fucked up that ear, so she had to spend a week in a room being watched over. As for her sister, she was in a coma, with no major damage other than that. Her father spent all his time will her praying she would wake up.

After a while she got to go home with him. But all he did was watch over feli. She was asleep on day when her father seen her eyes open. "My angel..." He mumble as he pulled the younger girl into a hug.

"Car crash..."

.

The albino sat in his room avoiding sleep. It was one twenty two in the morning when he got up and went down the hallway and knocked on a door. "Gil...?" A sleepy Maddie asked. "Yeah, birdie! I came to honor you with my presence! So I'm gonna stay in you room tonight..." He mumbled the last part. "Gil, no matter how much I love you, you can't stay here..." The girl said. Gilbert blushed as the words came out. "A-are you sure, you look like you just had a horrid nightmare and I came to comfort you!" He yelled. "F-fine,'if you shut the hell up!" She harshly whispered.

He followed behind her and sat laid down on her bed. "Night birdie..." He whispered. "Nighty night." Maddie mumbled. He rapped his arms around her and fell asleep.

Sorry for the crappy chapter, but I'm going on a trip and I didn't want to leave you all with nothing! Well at least you know what happened to lovina... Again I'm sorry!


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